Pledge to Drive like a MAN !

I’m a true blue Bangalorean. Having already spent more than a quarter of my Earth-time in Bangalore, I’m in love with this abode thanks to its weather, women and its laid-back-esque people. However, just like any love affair, things are going downhill.

Statistics has it that the population of Bangalore has doubled in the last five years. No mean feat this. But before we start patting ourselves in the back screaming ‘f**k yea!’, let’s ponder over whether the panic button needs a push.

Way back in 2005, I was a mildly flourishing Joesphite. I was at the receiving end the ‘when the !**# are you going to grow up?!’ look by teachers, peers and other people who found me obnoxious. I trotted along 16 odd kms to college on a trusty old Pulsar. The affair took me around 40 minutes. At times, when I responded to a little twitch behind my plums, I crossed the chequered flag in 20 minutes or lesser! Going by today’s scenario I think this would be the ‘lap record’.

The present picture is so grim that my mere words will serve as no messenger. To really get the pigeons flying, here are some statistics. Bangalore is about 740 square km big (small) and houses close to 6 million people. Her road network adds up to 1,500 km. And there’s Singapore. A country that is 710 sq km big, calls around 6 million people as citizens and is creased by 3262 km of roads. That’s double and more than that of Bangalore. In short, we have the perfect recipe for implosion. The rapid rise of the IT industries (close to 1,500 IT companies function out of Bangalore!) and large-scale commercial interest has raped the place and people of its space, air and well-being.

Couple that with the fact that Bangalore has the world’s largest number of two-wheelers vellicating her and it’s time to write the epitaph. You still think a 16 km run in 20 minutes is a possibility?

What I’m on about here is that it’s about time people woke up and smelt the coffee. The government is similar to a hungry monkey with a million banana flavoured dollars. Before the realpolitik revolution occurs, let’s get conscious. It’s not too late to respect those white and yellow lines we see on the road. Here are my two cents of what at least the readers of this column should consider:

Follow lane discipline – Possibly the most important and most widely abused. Many a times we have found ourselves heading straight on a lane that would be more helpful to people turning. Let’s get real. This only means more confusion in an already confused world. Back off and get on the right lane.

Overtake from the right – In my very short time on Earth, I have seen a huge number of people overtake from left, right and centre (pun intended) only to go to hell. It’s simple, the driver of the car is on the right, tell him you’re going ahead and do it. You don’t have to go Bush and shock and awe the man! Do it right.

Horn not OK please – For the love of God stop playing out your horny fantasies on the road. Jungle juice moves cars not a bloody horn. Use the horn to communicate concern not to start a conversation.

Quit weaving – Seriously, probably the most mephitic and immature way to ride/drive a car through traffic. To impress a girl? Here’s an unsolicited advice; grow a pair! And for boy racers – the road is not a race track.

Road rage – Yes, it’s very hard to calm down when someone shows you the finger but why bother? Embrace the famous Gandhigiri, it works, I’ve only recently learnt it. In the words of the famous Sir. Paul Mc Cartney, “Let it be”. It will only leave you irritated, flustered and with coprolalia and a shorter life span.

Right is right – Give way to people on the right of you. This way you can voide most confusion, err, once this catches on that is.

These anti-dysfunction pointers don’t necessarily stake claim only for Bangaloreans. Traffic snarls in Mumbai, Delhi and Hyderabad are abysmal compared to that of Bangalore. Why do we behave like animals on the road? I’m not for once suggesting you don’t develop a lead foot or be a killjoy for people who want to. Have a ball while you drive. Dump the clutch at traffic signals. Make a few girls giggle at your jiggle but please, do not act like a philistine on the road. That doesn’t float their boat, believe you me. With a smoother traffic flow, we can see our kmpl figures go north too! Let’s learn to do away with our primal instincts and embrace being human on the black top. Give it some time and you will see the difference.

Want to make frandship with me?

Pictures Courtesy: Code Martial & Chris JL

P.S. Bangalore has the world’s highest number of breweries! Cheers to that mate!

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July 14, 2010 | By Shourya · Tags: Driving in Bangalore, Indian Road Traffic Rules, Traffic Jams in Bangalore

Comments

2 Responses to “Pledge to Drive like a MAN !”

arvind on July 14th, 2010 9:10 pm

finally someone echoes my sentiments! but i have a bone to pick here… no gandhigiri till people behave. if they act cocky on the road, ill give them a lesson in expletives and hand weaving signals!

And point no.2 – most important one – Please for the love of god dont break signals. Follow the lights. they’re there for a reason. And as discussed earlier, the premature ejaculators who start moving from the line even before the lights turn green should be trashed eh?
Shourya on July 15th, 2010 9:41 am

:) we’re all from the finger-happy club. No turning back there. But let’s not be forthcoming about it :)

I’ve thought long and hard about turning into some sort of traffic vigilante… busting traffic crimes around the city. Stop a cock behind the wheel and take justice into my own hands.. That can help. I believe, and you’ll agree, people (read taxi guys and punk two-wheeler riders) should be shot with their shit.

Cheers,

Shourya

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